“Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day
Teach a man to fish and he’ll feed himself for life.”
I have never had formal Coaches during my professional career. However, I have been exceptionally lucky to have worked with a couple of managers/ bosses who have steered me to possible solutions to address doubts and apprehensions, supported me in devising concrete career strategies and strengthened my power to act and design a career for myself in Knowledge Management. They were not the Sophists who claim to empower their subordinates with the technical knowledge that would help them attain any aim they may have set for themselves. On the contrary, they expected me to be self-determined and be ready for change. Looking back, I see traces of the Confucian approach to learning in how they helped me evolve as a professional and human being.
The key cornerstone of their approach was to pass on wisdom and advice. They helped me decipher this quote from Confucius “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is the noblest; Second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” They emphasized that while all the methods are relevant and valid in some way or the other, the focus should be on learning wisdom through reflection and experience. I learned that wisdom gained through ‘Lessons Learned’ and ‘Learning by Doing’ is something that would stay with me for life. Over the years, I have also realized that this acquired wisdom could be improvised and contextualized based on situations.
On the basis of my own experiential learning from my informal Coaches, I think the three main constituents of coaching are:
- Impart knowledge
- Facilitate the change in attitude
- Help others to learn from themselves
I have often noticed that in a Corporate setting, telling is the easiest and quickest option. It reinforces the hierarchical structured that we operate in and neglects the need of the learner being involved. This approach conveniently forgets that “In the long run, spoon feeding people teaches them nothing but the shape of the spoon.” E.M. Forster
I was fortunate that rather than being spoonfed, I operated in an environment that was characterized by trust, mutual respect, receptivity to ideas and honest feedback. But more than anything, it was the desire of my Coaches to support me and help me succeed that propelled me in the right path to achieve whatever little potential I had.
Looking back, some of the enablers used during our discussions (I realize now that those were actually coaching discussions) that helped me immensely include:
- An environment of openness
- Encouragement from my Coaches to stand by my actions and take responsibility for them
- Questions asked to clarify and probe
- Transparency around assumptions and interpretations
- Coaches’ deire to ascertain where I really needed help and guidance
- Encouragement to see multiple solutions before honing on one that was felt appropriate
- Time bound actions clearly highlighting what needs to be done, by when and how
A few years into my professional career, I started leading small teams. I noted that helping others solve their challenges and steer them towards the attainment of their goals gave me immense satisfaction. The realization that you could facilitate the process of someone fulfilling their potential by knowing oneself better was incredibly powerful.
I observed that the exercise of helping others was helping me too! I was becoming a better human being. From a professional standpoint, I realized that I was evolving in terms of:
- Being more empathetic to the needs of others working with me
- Developing my listening skills
- Asking better questions
- Respecting perspectives that are different from mine
We live in an age where disruption has become the norm. But one thing which is unlikey to change is the need to help each other fulfil our goals and aspirations. In my humble opinion, one of the biggest challenges that India faces today is the dearth of good Coaches. While we continue to harp on our demographic advantage over others, we seem content to continue with our lackadaisical approach to mentor and coach our younger generations to achieve their full potential.
It is time for all of us to contribute and pass on our wisdom to those who could benefit from them. It is time to nurture talent who would go on to invent, innovate and co-create solutions and in turn help millions of others who are less privileged than them.
While I am not a certified Coach, I would be more than happy to help those who think they might benefits from my experience, skills and competencies. Feel free to get in touch and let’s learn from one another. You may get in touch with me via email (anirban075@gmail.com). Thanks for reading!
Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels
Musings of a Curious Indian 